Reflecting

Cuddles and kisses

I love to start my day snuggling with one of my babies in my comfy old armchair. Today as I cuddled Lucy, stroked her hair and kissed her soft warm cheeks, really savouring the moment, I was struck by the thought that life does not get any better than this. Kisses and cuddles with those I love the most. Love.

In the day to day busy-ness of my life, sometimes I am guilty of forgetting what it is that really matters. In my rush to complete items on my to-do list, to get the ‘stuff’ I think I need, I lose sight of the power that small moments have to take my breath away. Often, it is the small things that really do mean the most.

We went back to England for the Christmas holidays 15 months after we emigrated. My Grandma Kasmir had passed away just three months after we initially left and I wanted to connect with my other grandparents and spend time with both of our families. Our trip home was very busy and also stressful at times but I was able to spend time with my maternal grandparents and my Grandad Kasmir which was in itself very special.

When we went to visit my Grandad towards the end of the trip, I treasured the opportunity to watch him interacting with my daughters, talking to them, watching them and smiling. We left after around an hour and I felt rather sad as we drove away, knowing that as my grandad was 88 at the time and we had no immediate plans to return to the UK for another holiday, it was possible that I would never visit him again.

After a few minutes I realised that I had left my handbag next to the kitchen table. We drove back and I went in alone to get it. I found my grandad still sitting at the table, drinking a cup of coffee and watching the birds in his garden in the stillness of a wintry afternoon. I quickly retrieved my bag and then spent what would prove to be my final private moments with him on this earth. I told him I loved him and gave him a cuddle and a kiss to the top of his head.

When I close my eyes I can go back to that moment in the quiet kitchen, just the two of us, because I wasn’t distracted by anything or anybody else. The room was silent and I was totally present in the moment. I can still feel the sensation of the kiss I gave him and know I will remember it for the rest of my life. A special chance for me to say goodbye with just the two of us there, to have a precious moment with one of the people I respect and love the most.

My belief is that this was a moment orchestrated by God, that I was meant to forget my bag so I would need to go back. It reminds me that our lives are beautifully and perfectly shaped by God, that he is always at work and we can see evidence of his presence if we pay closer attention.

My memories of this moment remind me that love is what life is all about, it is love that brings meaning and purpose to my life. Those kisses and cuddles with my babies in the stillness and silence of the morning when I am not distracted by my gadgets or my ever lengthening to-do list are what I will remember at the end of my days. They are the treasure that make my life rich.

  

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